The concept for this video began when I realized that I wanted it to be symbolic of what this song is about, which is losing a part of yourself to those things that tear you down. They could be certain temptations, over-indulgences, struggles, or weaknesses that you cannot forgive yourself for.
Being the most emotional and personal song I have written so far, “Breath and Dust” is very close to my heart. The first time I heard it all the way through I cried. It had only been finished a week earlier, and the events that were the inspiration for this piece had taken place less than a month before.
Being the most emotional and personal song I have written so far, “Breath and Dust” is very close to my heart. The first time I heard it all the way through I cried. It had only been finished a week earlier, and the events that were the inspiration for this piece had taken place less than a month before.
Because of the personal nature of this song I will
not describe the incidents that inspired it. It is sufficient to say that it is
about loss, which I tried to illustrate through abundant symbolism in the music
video.
Behind the Scenes Video
Composition
Regarding the writing process, one memory comes to mind. I had been sitting at the piano and my grandma was in her bedroom (just down the
hall). She was on oxygen at the time, and I could hear the machine helping her
breathe. Her breathing reminded me of my own emotional state at the time. I felt as if I were drowning.
The
Recording Process
“Breath and Dust” was the forth song we recorded on the album. I contacted violinist, Ricky Cardoso, who was
recommended by the studio, Art City Sound, and asked if he would come in to record some violin
and viola tracks. I was blown away by how well he played. He was able to
capture the heaviness of the song in such a beautiful way.
Two different piano sounds were used, including an “abandoned” piano sample. This can be heard during the descending eighths (3:38 - 3:57) while the young woman in the video is drowning. When it is first introduced, it is slightly detuned.
Two different piano sounds were used, including an “abandoned” piano sample. This can be heard during the descending eighths (3:38 - 3:57) while the young woman in the video is drowning. When it is first introduced, it is slightly detuned.
I received a comment from a professional regarding
the mixing and mastering: the violin could have been blended a bit more with
the rest of the instruments, creating a smoother sound. I would have agreed
with him if it weren’t for what it is about: pain and loss. When someone cries,
truly, and alone, it is rarely censored. The violin is the instrument most
resembling the human voice. The voice in this song is weeping. If things sound
a bit off in this song, it’s on purpose.
The Music Video
My fans are amazing. They donated over $500 to the making of the video, which was filmed by Eric Thayne from Celadora Studios. The concept for it had been developing for a while and I was thrilled to have the opportunity to finally see it come together.
My goal was to have the video explore the interesting relationship between despair and its defeat, or triumph. The storyline was very basic: a young woman wades into a lake and sees a stuffed animal. She decides to try and retrieve it, but starts drowning. She is rescued by a stranger. Two locations were chosen for the shoot. The first one was beautiful Utah Lake near Provo, Utah. When we arrived it was raining, but we only had to wait about 15 minutes before it stopped. The rain clouds produced stunning lighting and backdrop. I had asked two of my friends, Becca and Rick, to be a part of the video. Becca was a great sport and spent nearly three hours standing barefoot in the lake that we were at. She was absolutely freezing by the time we were done shooting but I didn’t hear her complain once. Rick helped steer the canoe while Eric got shots of Becca in the water.
I felt guilty sitting on the beach the whole time eating M&M’s and Cheetos. However, it was a bit amusing hearing all three of them sing the opening song from Pocahontas while they rowed out onto the lake.
The second location was a bit trickier to get to. A
friend had been visiting ghost towns and came across a cool house in Thistle,
Utah. He sent me a picture and it was exactly what I had pictured for the piano
part of the shoot. There was one problem; it was on top of a huge hill. The
only other way to approach it would be to drive over two sets of railroad
tracks. My brother, who had also helped out at the lake, was kind of enough to
come help me at the house too.
It was quite the adventure. At home we loaded up my
“stunt” piano, which I gutted to make it lighter, and easily came apart. We were a little weary because our truck has a history
of not starting. However, an hour and a half later we arrived in Thistle with
no problems. We just had to find a way to drive up to the house without getting
in trouble, and without tipping the truck.
I first attempted to drive over the railroad tracks but it was obvious that we were going to get stuck. We went back down the main highway and (I) decided to drive across the field that the house is located on and go around the hill, up a part that is slightly less steep. I have to add that the whole time we were going through the field, which is covered with rocks, weeds, bushes, and uneven ground, my brother thought we were going to die and was holding on for dear life.
I first attempted to drive over the railroad tracks but it was obvious that we were going to get stuck. We went back down the main highway and (I) decided to drive across the field that the house is located on and go around the hill, up a part that is slightly less steep. I have to add that the whole time we were going through the field, which is covered with rocks, weeds, bushes, and uneven ground, my brother thought we were going to die and was holding on for dear life.
We finally arrived and unloaded the piano. We also
parked around back because we were unsure if we were trespassing. After waiting for about 45 minutes for Eric to arrive we
realized that there was no phone service. We had to drive back down the hill, 10
miles into town to contact him, which we did, right after the truck stalled.
Eric picked us up, we shot the video within an hour, and he dropped us back off
at the truck.
The truck was low on fuel, so a tow truck brought us some. My brother was too hungry
to go back and get the piano so we got food first. (It was a super hot day,
making us very thirsty and tired). At the drive-through the truck stalled again,
resulting in pilled up cars full of other famished people. And it wouldn’t
start, again. After an hour the tow truck returned and took us, and the truck home. The piano was left behind at the abandoned house.
Three weeks later the truck was still broken, but decided to take a trip back down to
Thistle to check on my piano. I took my car. When I arrived, my piano had been torn to pieces, the piano
bench gone, and most of the keys stolen. It was heartbreaking, but I was able
to get the majority of what was left into my trunk. I have plans to use the left over pieces for a future project.
Symbolism
in the Music Video
1.
A stuffed
animal, or monster. I call this the Bestia, which is Spanish for beast. (“Bestia” is also the title for the
second track on the album). This Bestia represents weaknesses, struggles, and temptations.
2.
The girl in
the lake. She is seen going after
the Bestia (weaknesses, struggles, temptations), which causes her to “drown.”
She drowns gracefully, as if she is enjoying her decision to associate with the
Bestia.
3.
The man in
the canoe. He pulls her out of the
water into the boat. He is a savior figure.
4.
Water. In a Christian sense, it can be viewed as baptism,
being born again. Shedding of those things that make us weaker. Cleansing.
5.
The old house. It looks as though it has been destroyed, piece-by-piece,
and everything is crumbling down.
6.
Empty picture
frames. Because of past decisions or
circumstances are there experiences or people that would have been part of your
life now if it weren’t for these things?
Each music video from the album is connected in some way. Each song a story. Each story a lullaby.
Each music video from the album is connected in some way. Each song a story. Each story a lullaby.
If there are other symbolic references that you see,
please leave a comment. I’d love to hear what you take away. Enjoy.
